NEWS
NEWS
NEWS
We’ve been noticing for a couple of weeks that the yellow-ish tones of the Yellow quarter are becoming more like red-ish. We would like to utterly advise all neighbors in the upper levels of such quarter to visit the nearest sawbones to get their kidneys checked… or their dicks or twats in the inside, you know. It’s not unusual to piss some blood, but that much can’t be normal and gives the creeps to all citizens.
According to the Council the day you are reading this Gazette we will be in Phase 4Alfa6Zeta88Beta of the quaranfine. You people better know what you can and what you can’t do in this new phase, becase they are quite lost by now. At the end of the day, the Judges will beat the crap out of your sorry ass if they feel like it.
Kim, the supremacist leader of the Mutards, has gathered her host and according to some sources they are heading to The Twins which lacks a clear leader since Prometheus left the building. It doesn’t seem viable that the current inhabitants of the place can defend it against her troops if she wants to take power. And from there, no one can guess what that crazy ass bastard can do. We still remember when we hated Prometheus to his guts, and now we would pay anything to have him back with his peace and good vibes nonsense.
Drink Jizz-Cola!
If you just want to look cooler. When you feel sad after arriving to your sorry crib. To get social with your few friends. As an excuse after beating the shit outta someone. When you have to clean the rust from some bolts and nuts.
¡JIZZ-COLA! The drink of someones, not the rest of no-ones scum. This ad has been published by the journalist following his own free will, according to the quality of the product and not influenced at all by the number of armed people waiting outside the building.
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF INTEREST
OR NOT, WHO KNOWS?
Bitten by a vampirat? We are raffling betatest vaccines. To enter the raffle, just send four empty cans of Bigotry, licked clean.
REF: Vangelsio
Corky ass? Dough Laxatives son lo más! Made with salfo root. Your gonna shit yourself!
REF: Let It Go
I found this gold ring with an inscription: “Always together, Goyo and Petra”. Im not giving it back, fuck you.
REF: MyTreasure
I make underwear with fishing nets. Keep your lower self cool.
REF: MenderBender.
NEWS OF THE MONTH
It seems the area south of Gleaming Towers, that was crowded with beasts of the kind that will fuck you up for good for no reason, is quite safer after a group of Amok went through it. Now the Wasteland is a nicer place as a shitload of creatures and Amok have been wasted in the showdown. It seems they had a great time, though, as now the lands south of the city of the World of Before is crowded with limbs, blood pools, guts and all kinds of gory things.
As soon as all this stupid quaranfine thing is gone, we will be trading back again with those bastards in the Merkadome area. We all hate those tightass fuckers who think they are better then the rest of us for living under a roof and havin’ power now and then, ruled by the most famous Cherif. But we also like having those shiny cool things only them bastards create or grow.
Even so the trip will be long and dangerous, and so far only the bravest bands of junkers and a caravan from the RRRR (Road Runner Rough Riders) have shown any interest in opening back the old routes. They also want to explore the area better, to check if the rumors about mega-giant robots, hooded guys, the girl from the curve and all the shit they tell about the place are real or not.
