THE SCRAPBRIDGE GAZETTE

It is very likely that you have heard of Villa McGuffin recently, although until recently no one knew about this place because it was worthless. Founded by two cousins named McGuffin and all their extensive offspring, this shitty settlement was so ridiculously insignificant that it didn’t even appearon the fucking maps.But, oh surprise! One day, the trade route between Puentechatarra and Merkadome was opened, and it turns out that Villa McGuffin was right in the fucking middle of it. So

A group of archaeologists, or something like that, which is the typical name that smart alecks use to sound important, had been digging for a long time in search of texts in perfect condition from the World of Yesteryearin the ruins of what appeared to be a huge factory or something similar. And it turns out that in a room sealed until now by a mound of earth, they found what they were looking for. However, they were shocked when

So, without anyone expecting it, the dreaded Judges, the relentless police force of Puentechatarra, have decided to take an unusual path and have gone on strike.According to their representative, they are protesting working conditions, demanding improvements in the quality of their uniforms and weapons that don’t fall apart. They are also demanding one day off per week, because of stress, because they need rest and recovery, because of who knows what other nonsense. This representative, known to everyone as Derek

It seems that in various crappy settlements located between Nowater and the Permaban Pass, a group of mutants dressed in ridiculous outfits with flashy colors, underwear over their pants, capes, and/or masks have taken it upon themselves to “try” to help those in need. It’s worth emfa… pempa… emphazising (woow, that one was HARD) the quotation marks from earlier because, in general, they’ve been beaten up, tripped over their own capes, and similar mishaps. Nevertheless, they have had the decency

Sometimes no one knows why something becomes popular, but it turns out that Darius Farm is this month’s real firecracker and everyone wants to go see it and even imitate it.Why is that? Well, it turns out that Darius was fed up with swarms of skunkcrows eating his crops. But instead of giving in to this winged, stinky menace, he decided to use his ingenuity and the remains of his fallen enemies to create a unique solution. The farmer, known

The pit beast Gasrrhi has become the top streetartist of Scrapbridge!The pit beast, who used to scare the whole settlement using threats to rip them off their last bullets, has now taken to making art for the youngsters on the walls of the city. And he has given himself the artistic name of “Creative Claws”, Jesus-fuckin’-Christ! According to some witnesses, Gasrrhi uses his claws, spit and other fluids that frankly we prefer not to know, to create his works of

We guessin’ that you have already heard rumors in the last days, but now we make it official and we have to announce some very important changes in this Scrapbdridge Gazette. From next month you will not be able to share the Gazette with your friends. We have been doing the maths and it turns out that people buy an issue and then share it among their colleagues and that’s not a profitable business for us. We have calculated that

In recent times several neighbors of Scrapbridge have reported that at night they heard howling, grunting, panting and that sort of suspicious things. Most of them took for granted that there was a couple or a group of people who dedicated themselves to bang like real savages. More than a few citizens decided to look for the origin of this fuckery, mainly to see if they could join in, or at least watch the show, but so far no one

Have you heard about those weird people with feathers who live west of Pigsty in a place called Majanchuchisonofabitch? Anyone with two cells in their brains knows that they have signs posted around their homes warning that if you cross their borders they will turn you into a stinky pile of poo. Until now the thing was easy, you just had to avoid going up there and that was it. But yes, some asshole did it with the idea that