NEWS
NEWS
NEWS
A bunch of that weird people want to organize the first pre-apocalyptic cosplay contest in Scrapbridge this month. What’s this cosplay shit? Well, apparently it’s dressing up like one of those wackos who used to roam around in the World of Before. Which is more or less what the Junkers have always been doing, but here we have to follow thousands of rules across thousands of different categories and make sure the costumes are less torn. Oh, and don’t bring actual screws in case you end up killing someone.
Remember in Gazette 77 when a few featherheads from Machanfuckyu said we could call them Unami and that a force was growing and they should help fight it and stuff like that? Well, it seems they then shamefully backed down and returned to their place of origin without even fuckin’ sayin’ goodbye. But damn it, some of them have reappeared saying the same thing. Well, similar, but apparently more quietly because they seem afraid that the Craabians, the Stalkers, or even a group of old angry people will take their place again being the next main faction in the Scrapbridge area. Apparently, when they were about to make an entrance they stoumbled upon the Troupe and got scared.
Lately, there’s been a tremendous resentment towards the Junkers in the area. They’ve gone from being those eccentric guys who were amusing to watch, to the dudes who beat you up when you come across them in the Wasteland. So much so that many voices have risen for other factions and settlements to give them a warning. This initiative is being known as the “Miranda Decree,” named after the leader of an especially unruly Junker gang
From our editorial team, we’ve been instructed to remind you to reserve your rulebooks now. There are a couple of days left for the pre-sale to end, and afterward, you won’t be able to get the pack at a special price or get Punkitty.
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF INTEREST
OR NOT, WHO KNOWS?
I’m looking for teammates for a suicide squad because I’m a bit hesitant about killin’ myself alone.
REF: Captain Slingshot
I kill you or make you stronger.
Ref: Darwin
I make necklaces with your own teeth. I’ll blast your mouth at no extra charges.
REF: Vinny
NEWS OF THE MONTH
A group of archaeologists, or something like that, which is the typical name that smart alecks use to sound important, had been digging for a long time in search of texts in perfect condition from the World of Yesteryear
in the ruins of what appeared to be a huge factory or something similar. And it turns out that in a room sealed until now by a mound of earth, they found what they were looking for. However, they were shocked when they unpacked the manuscripts.
Instead of finding plays, poetry or some other cultural stuff, or at least information about those times, they came across a kind of detailed instructions, accompanied by cryptic drawings and indecipherable words.
According to the group’s leader, Cobardus the Bold: ‘It’s as if someone had dug up the darkest secrets of the past to confuse us.’
Some believe that the texts found are strange spells containing instructions for summoning spirits or demons, which have names like SKUBB, MÖJLIGHET, SMÅSPORRE, or GRÄLVIKEN. Well, there’s one called Billy, who must be really nice, and I’m sure the rest of them beat him up and steal his souls.
Despite the bizarre nature of their find, the team of archaeologists is determined to make the most of this unique discovery. ‘In a world where the past and present are intertwined in unpredictable ways, we cannot underestimate the value of what we find,’ Cobardus declared, saying a lot without really saying anything. ‘These complex instructions could be the key to unlocking the mysteries of our own history!’
As for me, I’m going to sprinkle salt on all the doors and windows, because these guys are going to end up summoning some nasty creature, which I can see coming from a mile away.
