NEWS
NEWS
NEWS
Several parents are worried because their kids have gotten into some clubs where they teach ‘em to kick ass. But that’s not the worrying thing, because this Wasteland is not a place to go around without knowing how to defend yoself from all those degenerates and maniacs walking around, but because instead of teaching them how to land a good kick in the nuts, the ‘teachers’ are using them as slave labor workforce to fix their huts and shit. Grinding and painting the fences, waxing some wheels, clean the dishes, cooking, drying them after coming out of the tub… They say their muscles will learn how to fight. But one of the parents smacked his son good open handed and the kid went flying 9 feet away without even trying to defend himself. So a scam it is, I say.
Due to all this crabosaur thing, the biggest fair in all the Scrapbridge area had to be made by courier. Instead of going yourself to see da faces of the usual shopkeepers, spit ‘em in their ugly faces, piss all over their stalls and, maybe, just maybe, buy somethin’ from ‘em, they sent you a catalog and then you had to note down what you wanted to buy. And the public taks and shit, one guy came to your home to tell you how they were. Or how he remembered them. The strangesest thing of all is that the thing was quite cool.
Since the comms with the Merkadome have been operative again, weirder and weirder people is coming around. Those wackos with the hoods, mutards from a place called Landfill and… and… more things I can’t tell because me boss says they are espoileds or something like that. If you want to know them before anyone else, you have to be patrones de los cojones (you were asking for it). So show me your bullets!!!
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF INTEREST
OR NOT, WHO KNOWS?
I sell a barrel with several holes. Useless, but I don’t want to throw it away…
REF: DaHole
For sale, toe nails to spice up your soups.
REF: La Tana.
Don’t be afraid of blacouts no more. For sale, thick candles made with natural ear wax.
REF: Earman
The Jagged Cooperative informs that this week the comunal teeth are for Amber. Next week will be the turn of Blas.
REF: Teethless
NEWS OF THE MONTH
We thought that the Amok had gone to other lands, but no, fuck, no, they are back and they are as wild as ever. They have wiped out a couple of small settlements and they are getting closer to the Permaban Pass. The worst thing is that it seems they don’t torture, maim, eat, rape and kill everyone in their wake (and not in that order). Some of the villagers in those settlements were forced to watch how their beloved ones and neighbors were killed in gruesome ways, and even forced them to do such things and maybe even go buy some cigarettes for them. Some of them were incapable of doing such things and ended up dead and gone, but others went nuts due to the rough treatment and now they have joined the Amok in their crazyness.
The thing is that more and more fights are happening all accross the Wasteland between the usual bands of we were used to, yes, full of assholes but at least they were OUR kind of assholes, and this group of mindless drug-addicts sadomasquits.
And pray that you don’t find ‘em when they go along with that one they call Mother, a creepy woman so unnerving that not even flashin her titties can make you happy. Or Uncle, who also flashes his titties, but as he is a guy we could perfectly show a picture of him in the Instraham billboard in the Covenant Square and not be censured.
