NEWS
NEWS
NEWS
Some enlightened Dynamo had the brilliant idea of building a giant slide for Scrapbridge’s dwellers to go down quickly to the lower levels and leave the south section elevator free for ascension trips only. The crew of gears and pistons took over a week to complete such a massive work of scaffolds and metal sheets. After 17 deaths due to lethal falls and steep turns, the Counsil decided that neighbours had had enough fun already and closed the thing to the use of any person, animal or mutard due to its overwhelming dangers… but then they thought about it twice and reopened it again, because if you are dumb enough to slide down that thing, maybe you deserve your fate and you won’t need to be feeded ever again so that’s a win-win for the city.
The settlement of Suckers is really pissed off. The local sucker, who usually had his ass kicked by the patrons every now and then, has received the visit of his cousin from Juicy. He is a big, muscular guy and pretty intimidating… so now the newcomer is the only one beating the crap out of the poor guy… and takes all the fun out of the thing for the rest of the people.
Orfartus is searching for his girlfriend Euri, missing since the fire that took place last month. No body could be found and he thinks she might have been kidnapped, or even worst, she’s cheating on him surely with some dude younger and more handsome. Orfartus is looking for certified investigators to go out and look for her, but now that his store is completely burnt down, I wouldn’t count much on getting any payment.
Yes, ok, maybe our sales have been crushing down since stinky Old Ratcutter is not around with his tips, but… the truth is we no longer have a fuckin’ clue about where his sorry ass might be. So we are willing to pay some kind of reward to anyone who can bring him here, not necessarily safe and sound, because that’s impossible, but at least in his usual poor and lacking state.
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF INTEREST
OR NOT, WHO KNOWS?
Business for transfer: the beer factory “Buffamel Piss” is selling their shack with all the stills, jiggers and stuff necessary to keep it running. Just bring your will to work.
Ref. CC – Pisswasser
Master forgophant asshole scavenger to hire by the hour. Long arms, small hands. Worth my weight in bullets.
Ref. OGT – Tact
Teeth sharpened by hand. No cannibals allowed, as I have only six fingers left.
Ref. DEN – Stumps
The guild of the most devotee Children of the Black Blood asks for donations to rebuild the holy chapel of Bin-Diesel, Patron Saint of the Burned Ones, as it is one step away from falling down for good.
Ref. F&F – Toreto
NEWS OF THE MONTH
So far we all knew that the area North of Dustbin was so radiated that not even mutards were supposed to live there, and that if you went near the place you would be lucky just to spend a couple days pissing bright colors and losing some hair. But surprise, news arrived about people (well, what they think it’s people) have come out of there alive. They go around covered with heavy hoods and strange clothes, apart from talking non-stop about the world being cursed and blah, blah, blah. They talk about “mankind” having to suffer and succubus… sucbum… bumsu… die from radio-action so the planet can have a new dawn.
If they ever come to Scrapbridge, they will have to form a line with all the rest of fanatic wackos around here bashing our poor ears with all that nonsense around the Covenant Square or knocking at our doors at any hour of day or night. The group of scavengers that found these guys is literally falling apart in a pool of fluorescent goo, but no one knows if that is just because they got too close to the dangerous area or the newcomers have infected them somehow. What we know is that they seem to refer to themselves as the Irradiated.
