NEWS
NEWS
NEWS
Ok guys, it’s been two months since we’ve published this Gazzette that makes your life happier… or unhappier… whatever. The fact is that we organized a meeting to meet with some of our fans, chat a bit, do some activities and while we’re at it, eat some punkachopo. What’s a punkachopo? Let me explain it to you. It’s like if you take a buffalo, bread it and fry it, with cheese and cured ham inside it like a meat envelope. And very well done on top of it. But of course, in the end we didn’t do anything of the planned activities but eating, and we completed a really pleasant weekend. And I’ve been digesting all this time. Buff, I haven’t had a worse time in my life… but I’m looking forward to next year’s punkachopo.
There are rumors coming in from many wastelanders of a place called the Wet Strait. The thing is that everyone claims to know it and that this place exists, but then no one remembers exactly where it is, or if they saw it or a friend told them about it. And now that I mention it, it does ring a bell that there is a place called like that. Or if not there must be because that name deserves it.
They inform us of a real milestone in the history of Scrapbridge, and more specifically in the Armpit neighborhood. It turns out that in Whiskeydicks’s, that tavern that attracts the worst of the worst of this settlement, have been three full days without any fucking fight. And I’m not even talking about the massive brawls that sometimes take place, where there are more people getting into each other’s faces than in a Wasteland Battle Royal. No, no, not even a miserable punch, not even a pushin’ against the furniture… and almost not even a miserable bad look.
People in the neighborhood are extremely upset because something like this cannot be a coincidence. What if they are putting something in the drink? What if they are not putting it now, but they used to? Okay, now you go there with a lot more tranquility, but after a while you realize that without the drinks the place is a fucking pain in the ass… or maybe your buddies are, but come on, you’ll get a really bad feeling.
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF INTEREST
OR NOT, WHO KNOWS?
Getting your hands on an aholelicker is too expensive for ya? I do the same job, but cheaper.
REF: Lickin’
I can’t wait for ya teeth to fall off, I will tear ‘em apart in ya sleep.
REF: Tooth Beast
For sale, slices of bobblehead brains. To make clever experiments or eat as a delicatesen. Hurry up, selling fast.
REF: Chef Doc
NEWS OF THE MONTH
Do you know what usually happens when things seem to be going really horrible and then they get worse? Well, for fucking once the opposite has happened and we have found the best thing that could possibly happen.
The first groups of Amok and Irradiated are meeting and they are beating each other’s crap outta their sorry asses. Between some whose only goal is to torture and kill, and others who are more into irradiating and killing, the areas where they meet end up looking like the Final Wasteland in its good ole days. So everyone’s hope is that they annihilate each other for fuck’s sake. Let’s see, realistically and given the luck we have as a rule, in the end they even become best buddies and get together to leave the whole Wasteland devastated. But well, let’s leave them alone for now and let them raze each other to the ground. It seems that for now these battles are only happening south of the Great Rift.
And although fortunately there are not many settlements nearby, it is affecting trade significantly. On one hand, in Fatwind they have decided to destroy part of the passage made of boats and footbridges that led from the mainland to their island, and remain isolated from all this bloody mess. On the other hand, the usual routes to the area of Merkadome have become very dangerous and are taking monstrous detours even farther away from Gleaming Towers and now passing near Samanthia, all to avoid encountering these weird fuckers. Although these territories used to be avoided because they were considered less safe, now they are starting to be a lesser evil. Shite.
