NOTICIAS
NOTICIAS
NOTICIAS
It seems that a guy has arrived in Puentechatarra who has started handing out bullets to anyone who can draw anything more elaborate than a dick (although he doesn’t turn his nose up at drawings of dicks either). He says he wants to make a book compiling the evolution of the last 10 years that the Páramo has undergone, but since most people are bloody illiterate and can’t read (that’s the only explanation for why we’re not making a fortune with this Gazette), it’s easier to do it with little drawings. Like everyone who tries to do anything remotely cultural, he’s going to fail miserably, but hey, if shooting bullets makes him happy, that’s his business and good for the rest of us.
An old hag with a tattered flag draped over her hump, representing who knows what, planted herself at the door of the Puentechatarra Council and started screaming shrill, annoying cries to protest because, for once in a lifetime, things were being settled through dialogue and not with fists, as had always been the case. Her deafening and annoying screams were intended to disrupt the peaceful negotiations. And in the end, she succeeded, because the problem was resolved with blows, but the bad thing is that she had become the problem. The fact is that she has become a kind of martyr for many, who even want figures or statues to be made in her image and likeness.
As we are very kind and know that many of you are short on bullets, and especially because without those bullets you cannot buy the Gazette every month, we will try to inform you, when we can and remember, of
any work that may be available.
On this occasion, we have received information that a retired scrap dealer in Samanthia, known as Paposgordos (well, I say they call her that and that it’s not a name they’ve given her, but given what I’ve seen, I wouldn’t rule it out either), is looking for people capable of recovering old junk from dangerous places. Obviously, those interested should go to Samanthia and meet her.
She can usually be found at the headquarters of the Cool Old Stuff Cabal.
ANUNCIOS DE INTERÉS
O NO, YO QUE SE
I buy cartoons that aren’t about dicks. Actually, cartoons about dicks are fine too.
REF-Caro
And when do you say I have to start dictating?
Ref: Now?
Birdseed on steroids, which makes my chick aggressive
Ref – Turkey
LA NOTICIA DEL MES
It is very likely that you have heard of Villa McGuffin recently, although until recently no one knew about this place because it was worthless. Founded by two cousins named McGuffin and all their extensive offspring, this shitty settlement was so ridiculously insignificant that it didn’t even appear
on the fucking maps.
But, oh surprise! One day, the trade route between Puentechatarra and Merkadome was opened, and it turns out that Villa McGuffin was right in the fucking middle of it. So overnight, this shitty settlement became
a mandatory stopover for travellers and peddlers who make their way through the Wasteland.
The McGuffin family, those bastards who founded this dump, suddenly found themselves at the head of a gold mine… or at least a shit mine with a little sparkle. And despite their unattractive appearance, the result of generations of inbreeding, they were smart enough to see the business opportunity and realise that these
travellers came with their hands full of bullets after trading, and that beyond whores and alcohol, gambling was more profitable than a water well in the middle of the fucking desert.
And you can’t say they didn’t put on a show. From the typical card and dice games to improvised combat arenas, spitting contests and ball-kicking contests.
However, so much fame, attraction and bullets passing from one hand to another have attracted the attention of everyone.
And it cannot be said that they have not put together an offer. From the typical card and dice games to improvised combat arenas, spitting contests and ball kicking.
However, so much fame, attraction and bullets passing from one hand to another have attracted the attention of all the factions in this area of the Wasteland, who see it as a strategic location and a very lucrative source of business. So no one would be surprised if there were soon fights to take control of it. I’ll be watching it all while eating some galligartitas.
