Greetings, Merkas:
Merkadome’s illustrious Pest Control department publishes the latest study of their CCCP (Condensed Compendium of Pest Control), in which they warn you of the goodness and dangers of the creatures that inhabit our beloved settlement. With all the bullets it costs us to get the three little guys in the department to do something useful… Then don’t say you weren’t warned!
Ilustre Departamento de Control de plagas de Merkadome.
Calleja de los meaos, junto a la puerta verde (la del fondo, no la otra)
Agente Aurelio “Seis Ojos”. Coordinador adjunto.
Agente “Brusca” Betty. Adjunta coordinadora.
Agente Lao “el Insufrible. Adjuntador coordinado.
What he looks like and where he hangs out
Lenguatrapers are gatomorphic creatures of variable size. As adults, they are usually no taller than a human’s knees, although some particularly large specimens can reach waist height.
These creatures are little more than a big mouth with legs, as they have a round, melon-shaped head, most of which is taken up by the mouth. They have teeth, although they do not appear to be functional, as they bend easily, and a huge tongue, which tends to hang out when they move.
Their fur is soft and of various colours, often showing different types of spots and a crest or tuft of flexible, fishbone-like quills. They have no eyes, which explains why they bump into everything…
These animals are very common throughout the settlement, and are often found roaming the inhabited areas of Merkadome. They are very sociable, both among themselves and with other species, even at the cost of their own physical integrity. It is common to find them running around the shacks of the Dome and as pets of some of its inhabitants.
What it does
Not all the creatures in the Wasteland harbour dark intentions. These charming creatures have a compulsive need to show their affection by compulsive licking. Unfortunately for anyone who is the object of their affections, they have a tongue like the sandpaper of the 4. For this reason they are often very annoying and there have even been cases in which they have even produced incidents of some gravity, as when Ambrosio (the Nest’s) caught a bun like the sleeve of a coat and woke up with abrasions all over his body, as a result of the attentions of his own pet.
Soleatrapers spend most of their time sleeping or licking things, and tend to be most active at night (or generally when they are most active). It is not known for sure what they feed on, although it seems that they are shitheads. That is to say, they subsist on various kinds of shit they suck up: scraps of wood, metal, skin, dust…
Some merkas have found a very practical application for these critters, using their obsessive instinct to lick with their rough tongues to polish metal, remove rust from surfaces or file the edges of furniture. Thanks to the abundance of these creatures, there is no shortage of lingual shops offering their services in the dome.
How to hunt it
Actually, there is no merit in catching a soleatraper. You just wait for it to lick you and poke it with a stick. But it doesn’t seem that anyone is interested in doing so, as they are of no use. Their skin is thin and not worth much, the meat smells bad and is stiff no matter how much you cook it, and their bones are fragile. In spite of all this, attempts have been made to find various uses for their offal with little success, such as the case of a renowned artist who used a light bulb through the bulb to make coloured lamps…
Study of Agent Aurelio “Six Eyes”. Deputy Coordinator of the CCCP.
