Greetings, Merkas:
Merkadome’s illustrious Pest Control department publishes the latest study of their CCCP (Condensed Compendium of Pest Control), in which they warn you of the goodness and dangers of the creatures that inhabit our beloved settlement. With all the bullets it costs us to get the three little guys in the department to do something useful… Then don’t say you weren’t warned!
Ilustre Departamento de Control de plagas de Merkadome.
Calleja de los meaos, junto a la puerta verde (la del fondo, no la otra)
Agente Aurelio “Seis Ojos”. Coordinador adjunto.
Agente “Brusca” Betty. Adjunta coordinadora.
Agente Lao “el Insufrible. Adjuntador coordinado.
What he looks like and where he hangs out
If you’re so… Enough to wander the dark depths of Merkadome and stray from its relative safety, you’d do well to be prepared for the worst, and the worst of the worst might be the vile Abyssal Cramps. These mutant abortions are the most repulsive and lethal thing I’ve ever encountered in the darkness of the Merkadome tunnels, and I’ve lost more than a few companions down there, whole at least. They inhabit any flooded tunnel or underground waterway in the uninhabited Merkadome; they only need water and darkness, although in inhabited areas they are monitored to ensure they don’t nest, or we’d all be pretty screwed. This bastard is a disgusting eel covered in spiny fins and with skin as hard as stone and it looks just like that (you can break your knuckles if you go all out hitting it with your bare hands). Its brutal face turns out to be a lie, as its head opens into four jaws like a flower, revealing its true face: soft flesh where multiple black, soulless eyes are scattered around sharp teeth. But the most annoying feature of this “thing” is that it releases incredible electric shocks if you touch it or get too close in the water, as if you were supposed to fight a junk dealer with a clicker. I couldn’t tell you how big they are in total, because there are always those who will tell you they’ve killed them small as snakes, and others who will tell you that one swallowed its cousin, boat and all.
What do you do?
The Abyssal Cramp is without a doubt a cursed plague in the settlement’s underground canals. Aggressive and hungry, it’s a stealthy predator that appears suddenly, revealing its malignant light underwater, approaching you with malicious slowness, only to suddenly leap like lightning with its enormous jaws, intent on dragging you into the water where it can strangle and electrocute you beyond repair. Once it’s taken you, you’ll never go back. I’ve seen, with my good eye, that Cramps can travel in groups when they’re small; a nightmare of bastards, they can give you a lot of trouble if you’re not prepared. But the largest ones can easily sink a small boat and tear off your arm with ease, with the only advantage being that they’ve become very territorial, so they wander alone, although I don’t need one of these to eat my friend with privileges, “Big Jenaro.” These monsters are old acquaintances of the explorers of the portal, who do not hesitate to say that they have a truly evil conscience, a cruelty that goes beyond that of the common creatures of the wasteland, however dangerous they may be, since the Abyssal Cramp seems to kill for the sake of killing, without the justification of hunger or defense.
How to hunt it
If you can avoid it and you haven’t been condemned to do it, don’t do it; you’ll be the prey. If that’s not the circumstance and you can’t avoid it, my advice is to wait for its attack out of the water and when it shows its true, ugly face, you blow it up. The problem is that you don’t know where it’ll attack from, so it’s a team effort, back to back, and even then unsafe, as “Big Jenaro” would tell you if he were still alive. The good thing is that the cramp’s tough flesh, when well treated and dried, is as nutritious as it is disgusting; its hard scales can be tanned into cool armor, and its blood glows in the fucking dark! Things the portico department will pay you a lot of bullets for and charge you a lot more for, perhaps because they really like getting tattoos with that glowing blood (or, as rumor has it in the underworld, injecting it in dark rituals).
Study of Agent “Brusca” Betty. Deputy Coordinator of the CCCP.
