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<\/figure>\n\nGetting out was not particularly appealing. At a first glance from the outside the camp may look like some kind of dump, but then, it was an actual dump. A wet, stinky one.
I moved on between two shacks to get to our leader\u2019s hut. The rest of the structures were made of debris, thin plates and sticks, but his was made of guano. My buddy Trevor provided it personally, during his strict high-fiber diet. <\/p>\n\n
As it happened in many mutards groups, we were led by a bobblehead. In case any of you don\u2019t know, they are really smart guys and with psychic powers, but in our leader\u2019s particular case, that was not at odds with him being a total asshole. This particular one really lived up to his name, as his head was twice the normal size and his body not bigger than that of a year-old child. In fact, for his head not to be falling to its sides every minute, he had to walk with some kind of wheeled-frame to support it. <\/p>\n\n I knocked at his door a couple of times and entered. There he was, seating on a small throne of sorts. Most of the times I found it really difficult to speak with him, because I had a really hard time holding back my laughter and ended up putting a silly face. He talked to me. <\/p>\n\n \u2013 I\u2019m glad you are here. I have big plans for you.<\/p>\n\n \u2013 Mmm, thank you, master \u2013 yike, bad, bad business, those plans used to end in pain or humiliation.<\/p>\n\n \u2013 As you know, we are the chosen ones, the next step in evulotion, those called to rule the planet.<\/p>\n\n \u2013 I know, master \u2013 there we go again with that yawn speech again. Look, we are a bunch of pathetic misfits, the worst scum in that pile of shit called the Wasteland. And it is said \u201cevolution\u201d, you moron. <\/p>\n\n \u2013 And our time has come at last. It is said that he who has to guide us has presented himself and is gathering all the groups around the area of Scrapbridge. We must check if this is true, so someone has to go find him. <\/p>\n\n \u2013 And am I the chosen, master? \u2013 apparently he had the word \u201cexpendable\u201d written on his forehead. \u2013 Paul, master \u2013 I hope he is not thinking about\u2026<\/p>\n\n \u2013 No, that is the name humans want you to have, but I want you to use your real name.<\/p>\n\n \u2013 But\u2026 \u2013 no, please, no, no.<\/p>\n\n \u2013 Go on, say it.<\/p>\n\n \u2013 Slimy \u2013 fuck, why is he making me say it. \u2013 SLIMY \u2013 yeah, right, ridicule me a bit more, maybe someone in Nowater hadn\u2019t heard me already.<\/p>\n\n \u2013 Good. Get ready with whatever you need; tomorrow you will go to The Twins.<\/p>\n\n I nodded and went outside the hut. At least this motherfucking bobblehead was not of the type who could read minds, because if he could I would have been ditched a long time ago. Well, with a bit of luck some gruesome beast would waste me in the Wasteland and free me from this fucked up life. Yeah, that really sounded good. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The noise of the mongrelmorphs woke me up. One of them was making a high-pitched sound that was drilling my tank, like that of some nails scratching metal. I was getting tired of telling Luigi not to let them inside, but as usual, no one gave shit about my opinions. It seemed I really was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Mutardo08-198x300-1.jpg\")
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