{"id":9234,"date":"2015-01-05T08:01:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-05T08:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/mutard-life\/"},"modified":"2025-09-18T10:34:55","modified_gmt":"2025-09-18T10:34:55","slug":"mutard-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/en\/mutard-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Mutard life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>\u2013 Dude, life in the Waztelanz iz a zhit.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 We can\u2019t complain, we have waterr, food, shelterr\u2026 and we even get laid once in a whale.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 If we pay, dude, we get laiz if we pay and a lot, becauze for mutardz like uz iz very difficult to dip the weenie even wiz whorez.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Yeah, we arre quite horrible, man.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 You are horrible, wiz that prick faze you have. I am handzome. <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 You arre handsome, but yourr teeth arre a feet long, yourr tits ooze pox, you have a rretrractable dick and yourr balls come out of this thing\u2026<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Ok, ok, I get it. But you are proving me right. Life here zuckz.  <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 I don\u2019t see it that bad.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 You don\u2019t zee it bad becauze you have four eyez, but that iz dizguzting. You get up in the morning, if you get up at all, and don\u2019t know if you are going to die that day. A mozcorpion can bite you, the Fifz Reich getz you, you fall in a pit full of \u201clittle zpikez\u201d or a blizter you didn\u2019t know you had in your back ezplodez.  <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Don\u2019t exaggerrate, nothing everr happens.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Martinetez.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Well, yes, Marrtinetes died two moons ago, but that was because he was a rreal prrick. Who could rreally think of scrrewing a marrtabbit? They explode!  <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Ok, Martinetez waz an azzhole. Palauztre! <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Palaustrre is alive. A landsharrrk ate his tentacles, but he still can enterrrtain himself with his fluffy hand.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Crab.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 You killed Crrrab, you bastarrrd! You sprrrinkled salt underrr his shell. <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Yeah, that iz true, I am a badazz, he, he, he! But, hey, what about the zivil inzecurity? <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 The what?<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 The zivil inzecurity, man. Yezterday the Palomocho zhack fell off and he diez! Thiz morning a biter bit the Muzhroom in the azz, the day before Tankhead blow hiz head off after taking a zhotgun from the dead armz of a junker.  <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 I know, man, but that arrre just shitty things that happen.<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 There iz alwayz zomeone dying around. Even in the Pool Feazt there iz always zome corpzez.. <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Cut it, man. That is a rrrrrreally quiet and rrrrrrrelaxing parrrrrrrrty. <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Evileye, the lazt year, fell into the barbeque. The year before Anklez waz taken away by a highjaker. Three yeaz ago Borderline waz stompez to deaz by a ztampede of buffamelz. Four yearz ago, the pool caught fire and two guyz were burnt alive! What are the chanzez that a pool of water catchez fire, man?    <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Yeah, rrrrrrrright, that is rrrrrrrrrrrrrreal bad luck. Sorrrrrrrrrrry, man, I am stuck again with the rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 You are really bazly made, man. Be careful your throat doezn\u2019t ezplode and you die horribly. <\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 My thrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroat will be exposed?<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 Ezplode, man, ezplode. Kabooom!<\/p>\n\n<p>\u2013 You arrrrrrrrrrrrrrre rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright, dude, this life is a rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal\u2026 a fucking shit, you know.<\/p>\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"198\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Mutardo08-198x300-2.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6388\"\/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u2013 Dude, life in the Waztelanz iz a zhit. \u2013 We can\u2019t complain, we have waterr, food, shelterr\u2026 and we even get laid once in a whale. \u2013 If we pay, dude, we get laiz if we pay and a lot, becauze for mutardz like uz iz very difficult to dip the weenie even wiz [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stories"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - 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