{"id":13545,"date":"2025-09-24T08:47:24","date_gmt":"2025-09-24T08:47:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/the-gazette-no-69\/"},"modified":"2026-09-28T17:31:22","modified_gmt":"2026-09-28T17:31:22","slug":"the-gazette-no-69","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/en\/the-gazette-no-69\/","title":{"rendered":"The Gazette No. 69"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We hadn\u2019t heard from the famous Testicular Gangers in a long time. You remember them, those macho men with ball so big they couldn\u2019t put their legs together, much less walk in a straight line, so they had to be put on bigger-than-normal bases (whatever the fuck this means). Well, it seems theses Testicular guys are growing and expanding big time their territories and many people are reporting in about them these last two months. <br\/>Apart from needing more room to move than a regular human being, let me be clear about this, due to the operating range of their huge-ass dangling jewels (you have to see \u2018em to believe \u2018em, those poor fuckers can\u2019t even sleep properly due to the size of those things), now they also seem to be imposing new rules on those settlements they conquer.<br\/>Among the strange things they seem to pull out of nowhere just to annoy others, it\u2019s this new fad of not measuring shit like the rest of us. Yep, you heard that right. They say measuring in centimeters, or even regular inches, is for lame-ass sissies, and that they don\u2019t abide by that shit. So, using their oversized attributes as the new Tables of law (and that\u2019s a powerful Law, I warn you) they just made up a new measuring system with drawings and stupid names for measurements. So now a short-ranged weapon will be a Cock-boy Jordi, another one reaching up to medium range is called a Nacho Vidal ranged weapon and those firing at great distances are called Mongolongo ranged weapons. Can you believe this shit? Jordi, Nacho and Mongo are their new measurement units, and the ones they are now trying to impose on their lands. Jesus-fucking-Christ.      <\/p>\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I respect that you think of yourself as a big boy, an all buffed up sex-machine big bad wolf motherfucker, ruling your territories with an iron hand in a spiked glove, but for fucks sake, dude, calm down the tone a little bit with measures, bro. The rest of us can\u2019t keep up the pace of this shit and our heads will hurt from brain calculations to figure out what your stupid symbols stand for. What will be next? Measuring with triangles, squares and circles? Eat my ass, sunshines!   <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We hadn\u2019t heard from the famous Testicular Gangers in a long time. You remember them, those macho men with ball so big they couldn\u2019t put their legs together, much less walk in a straight line, so they had to be put on bigger-than-normal bases (whatever the fuck this means). Well, it seems theses Testicular guys [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-scrapbridge-gazette"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Gazette No. 69 - Punkapocalyptic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/en\/the-gazette-no-69\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Gazette No. 69 - Punkapocalyptic\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We hadn\u2019t heard from the famous Testicular Gangers in a long time. 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Well, it seems theses Testicular guys [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/en\/the-gazette-no-69\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Punkapocalyptic\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-09-24T08:47:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-09-28T17:31:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/punkapocalyptic.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/logo.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"225\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"225\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/punkapocalyptic.com\\\/en\\\/the-gazette-no-69\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/punkapocalyptic.com\\\/en\\\/the-gazette-no-69\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/punkapocalyptic.com\\\/en\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/9c89b0aff8e66c418ee0ecb96bf8edd9\"},\"headline\":\"The Gazette No. 69\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-09-24T08:47:24+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-28T17:31:22+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/punkapocalyptic.com\\\/en\\\/the-gazette-no-69\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":388,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/punkapocalyptic.com\\\/en\\\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"The Scrapbridge Gazette\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/punkapocalyptic.com\\\/en\\\/the-gazette-no-69\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/punkapocalyptic.com\\\/en\\\/the-gazette-no-69\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/punkapocalyptic.com\\\/en\\\/the-gazette-no-69\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Gazette No. 69 - 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